I’ve been very good this year. I’ve paid my ever-increasing property taxes without screaming. I’ve dodged potholes the size of hot tubs on I-70. Survived the RV Boat and Roadshow for the past several years down 285. I’ve even smiled politely while explaining to my California neighbors why their reintroduced wolves just ate my neighbor’s livestock. So here’s my modest wish list for 2026:
One Conservative Governor. (RINOs need not apply—we’ve had enough Republicans who govern like Democrats.) One Lt. Governor, one Attorney General, one Secretary of State, and one State Treasurer who remembers which party they belong to. One U.S. Senate seat. All eight U.S. House seats. The 18 State Senate seats up for grabs, plus hold the six we already have. And all 65 State House seats.
Why the greed? Because after nearly two decades of progressive control, Colorado needs adults back in charge.
Let’s review the highlight reel of failure, shall we?
Our roads now feature potholes with their own zip codes while billions vanish into the black hole of light rail projects nobody rides. We imported Canadian wolves to terrorize ranchers, because apparently our homegrown predators weren’t decimating herds efficiently enough. Taxes have skyrocketed to fund programs that don’t work, regulated by bureaucrats nobody elected.
Dead people vote with impressive regularity in Colorado—turns out the afterlife is very progressive. Meanwhile, the Secretary of State left state election passwords sitting on the internet like free samples at Costco, but don’t worry, we’re assured our elections are totally secure.
Illegal immigrants drive commercial trucks while citizens jump through regulatory hoops paying increasing high insurance rates. Sanctuary cities roll out welcome mats for gang members. The mentally ill wander our streets untreated, carrying cookie cutter protest signs, their multicolored hair reflecting off the sunlight as they try to decide what restroom they will be using that day., but hey, at least we closed the mental hospitals to save money—which we then spent on free healthcare for illegals. Then we turn around and have a lottery for their health care because the state ran out of money.
Our forests became tinderboxes thanks to environmental policies that prevent actual forest management, then officials act shocked when everything burns. The PUC cuts off natural gas while Xcel shuts off power during winter windstorms—because nothing says “progressive energy policy” like freezing in the dark. School security remains a joke, constitutional rights get trampled, yet criminals still have guns, and government programs multiply faster than rabbits, each one more unaffordable than the last.
Speaking of two-tier justice: a Gold Star mother named Tina Peters sits in prison for questioning election security, while the officials who left those passwords on the internet face zero consequences. The state filed over 48 lawsuits against Trump while its own house crumbles.
This is what happens when one party controls everything for two decades. The corruption becomes institutional. The incompetence becomes policy. The failures become features, not bugs.
So yes, I want a clean sweep in 2026. Not because Republicans are perfect, but because unchecked power corrupts absolutely—and Colorado desperately needs a course correction.
And while we’re at it: Pardon Tina. She is the only one who actually tried to protect election integrity instead of leaving passwords on the internet for the world to see.
Wish us luck, we will need it.
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