Let me get this straight, because I want to be sure I’m laughing at the right thing.
A batch of entertainers signed up to play America’s 250th birthday on the Mall, then dropped out in a huff the moment they remembered the President of the United States would be involved. Too political, they said. Couldn’t possibly share a bill with the man.
So they walked. And now? With all that empty stage time on the schedule, word is the slots are being filled with — wait for it — a presidential speech.
That’s the part that’s got me chuckling into my coffee. These folks didn’t want a few minutes of the President at the party. What they’ve gotten instead is the President at the microphone — and this President, bless him, has never met a speech he wanted to keep short. The man can go an hour. Two. He’ll still be talking when the funnel cake stand shuts down for the night.
They wanted less President. They engineered more. A lot more. Where there might’ve been a quick “thank you, God bless America” and a wave, there’s now a stage swept clean of singers and handed straight to a fella who treats a teleprompter as a polite suggestion.
You boycott the band, you get the keynote. You skip the song, you get the sermon. There’s a tidy little lesson in there about cutting off your nose to spite your face, but I’m having too much fun watching it unfold to bother spelling it out.
Two hundred and fifty years — and the woke crowd’s big protest was to clear the stage and hand the President the floor for as long as he pleases. Folks, you cannot write comedy better than that.
Support Independent Local Journalism — High Country Advocate was created as a real alternative to regional media that too often silences dissenting voices while taking sides in the political struggle. Producing in-depth, unflinching reporting like this series and others is expensive: servers, editing, research time, and legal review all add up quickly. If these articles have informed you or given you new perspective, please consider supporting HCA with a paid subscription — every subscriber helps keep this reporting strong and independent.
