As Lent is closing and Holy Week, the week prior to Easter, approaches, I wanted to write about struggles in the life of a Christian. A “Continuous Lent” is a rather interesting way to define our time here on this planet, given all the trials and tribulations that we endure. Some would suggest “especially in these times we live, now.” My reply to that: “Nolle sub sole novum”-nothing new under the sun. Some would say “Purgatory” would seem a bit more fitting. I’m uncertain if it’s ever quite as bad as that, at least from the books I have read concerning Purgatory. A “Continuous Lent” seems much more appropriate. A preparation period. We each have our cross to carry, our own challenges, each, our own penance to complete. But all in preparation for what God has in store for our future. God has plans for each one of us. I have been writing for a monthly Benedictine Oblate prison ministry newsletter since 2010. One of the former prisoners wrote some years ago, the following:
“Over the past few months, we have discussed how to live out our Oblation within the confines of prison. I’d like to spend some time examining the value of our oblations. I received my first 5-year setback from the Parole Board August 28, 2006. A devastating blow for sure. I had already been in prison for 12 years. I had been report free for over 5 years and managed to work my way from a maximum-security prison, all the way down to a minimum restricted prison. After receiving the set back, I was immediately placed in segregation and regressed back to the maximum-security prison. They told me it was a “custody issue”; that I was no longer eligible to be at a minimum restricted prison facility because I had over 3 years to my next parole eligibility.
At this point in my life, all I had left was my Oblation. I was bitter, frustrated, alone, and in such a depressed state, I could hardly eat.
My routine played a huge part in pulling myself back together and pressing forward. Beginning the day with Lauds, praising God for yet another day. I would then dive into my Lectio after breakfast. (At the maximum-security prison I was housed, it was 3 months of 23 hour lockdown before I was eligible for a job assignment.) After Lectio, I prayed my Rosary and then organized the rest of my day around contemplation (contemplatio) and meditation (meditatio). Vespers was right before chow from 4 p.m. to 5 p.m., and of course, Compline was right before LIGHTS OUT at 9 p.m. I do not share this with you to honk my own horn, “look at all I am doing”. Quite the opposite. At this dark and dreary time in my life, there were many days when I felt completely cut off, and alone. As if I were simply going through the motions–even while praying my Rosary, which is dearer to me than any other discipline. Nearly 13 years have passed since then. I received a second 5 year set back in August of 2012. It didn’t sting nearly as badly as the first one. This gained strength, was from maintaining my discipline, and focusing not on self, but on my promise. Not from feeling, but from duty. My duty to God, to fulfill my promise to HIM. Becoming an Oblate is an offering of yourself to God. Trusting completely in Him, and overcoming (your) SELF, regardless of what you are facing, and focusing your every breath on HIM. I spent countless hours focusing on Jesus and His Passion. The Way of the Cross became a daily meditation for me, which is still a tradition I do every day of Lent, every year. A sort of commemoration for all HE brought me through, and all HE suffered for me, and for us all. Nothing in this life is permanent, and very little in this life will ever go exactly as we hope or plan. All of which is OK. Stay your focus on JESUS. Continue to put HIM first and focus on exactly what is in front of you. Keep putting one foot in front of the other. Celebrate your life as a continual Lent. It IS a gift. Every sacred breath.”
The former prisoner who wrote the above has been out of prison for approximately 8.5 years now, is married, and is a sacred artist. He is also one of my closest friends. One of his works hangs, proudly, in my living room over the U.S.M.C. shrine to my father, flag and all, who recently died. The oil painting is Jesus.
Being a Christian, in whatever time period you are on this big blue marble, is never easy, but it is simpler, as the strength you draw from faith in Christ is unparalleled to anything. Those who seem to have an easy life, have all the material possessions they desire, all the money they could ever want, whatever, I suggest that they haven’t experienced true strife in their lives. They are too comfortable, which leads to entitlement and sloth. If someone must keep declaring they “are Christian” to others, my brain questions that, as your Christianity should be lived. St. Paul wrote: “you will know them by their works.” As Easter approaches, take some time to reflect on your life, your family, and your actions. Where have you “chosen wisely?”. Do more of that. Where have you “chosen poorly?”. Amend your life and discard that. Having a soft and cushy life, where your major challenge is “having to drink black coffee instead of your pumpkin soy milk latte” is really rather hollow, if you think about it. For you see, actual strife and challenges is how we truly grow and flourish. As we approach Easter, and contemplate the sacrifice made by Our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, what sacrifices have you made and how could you improve?
A very blessed Holy Week to all of you, and may God reward you!
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